There must be 50 ways to... vote for mayor of Minneapolis

[dreamshark]

You don't have to vote for 3. If the whole IRV thing makes you queasy, you can just "bullet ballot" (vote for one candidate). But with such a cornucopia of candidates, that would be such a waste! Here are some possible strategies for making those 3 votes count in the way that best suits your personality.

DFL - MOST PLAUSIBLE CANDIDATES
Betsy Hodges [DFL] - progressive but not nuts.
Don Samuels [DFL] - willing to put his life on the line to fight violence on the north side.
Mark Andrew [DFL] - wants to make Mpls the greenest city in the country. And he did bring us the Midtown Greenway.

DFL - ALSO REASONABLY PLAUSIBLE
Bob Fine [DFL] - former Parks Commissioner
Stephanie Woodruff [DFL] - former council member?? Can't quite place her.
Jackie Cherryhomes [DFL] - assuming you miss the good old days of rampant cronyism and corruption

MOST LIKELY TO BE A REPUBLICAN
Cam Winton [Independent Responsible Inclusive] - pretty much your only serious choice if you lean Republican.
Ole Savior [Republican] - the only one who says he's a Republican, although he's mostly someone who likes to run for office.
John Leslie Hartwig [Independent] - "from now on, every dollar we spend we're going to save three dollars!" Sounds Republican to me.

MOST LIBERTARIAN (there was a lot of competition for this category)
Christopher Clark [Libertarian]
Christopher Robin Zimmerman [Libertarian]
Mark V. Anderson [Simplify Government]

FURTHEST LEFT OF CENTER (even more competition for this one)
John Charles Wilson [Lauraist Communist]
Captain Jack Sparrow [Count All Rankings]
Tony Lane [Socialist Worker Party]

MOST ANTI STADIUM
Mark V. Anderson [Simplify Government]
Dan Cohen [Jobs Downtown Casino]
Christopher Robin Zimmerman [Libertarian]

THE THREE BEST NAMES
BobAgain Carney, Jr. [Demand Transit Revolution]
The Rock Rahaman [We the People]
Ole Savior [Republican]

THE THREE SHORTEST PLATFORMS
Jeffrey Alan Wagner [pissedoffmpls] - no party identifier, no platform, so I just used his email handle.
Rahn V. Workcuff [Independence] - "If elected I would like to meet with the community leaders." Simple and elegant.
Ole Savior [Republican] - "Crime #1. More police patrols. 20 years of crime in our neighborhood must STOP."

THE PARTY DESIGNATION SAYS IT ALL
Bob Kahn [Last Minneapolis Mayor]
Jaymie Kelly [Stop Foreclosures Now]
BobAgain Carney, Jr. [Demand Transit Revolution]

PEOPLE WHO ALL APPEAR TO BE DESCENDED FROM SOME GUY NAMED "ANDERS"
Mark V. Anderson [Simplify Government]
Merrill Anderson [Jobs & Justice]
Mark Andrew [DFL]

PIRATES
Kurtis W. Hannah [Pirate Party]
Captain Jack Sparrow [Count All Rankings]
... sorry, you'll need to write in somebody like "Captain Morgan" for the 3rd slot. No system is perfect.

Comments

[skylarker.livejournal.com]

I'm sorry to no longer be a Minneapolis resident and won't have had time to establish residency elsewhere by election day.

MN Residency?

[lsanderson.livejournal.com]

Have you resided in Minnesota for 20 days immediately preceding Election Day? If so, you can vote "where you hang your hat."

http://www.sos.state.mn.us/index.aspx?page=204

Re: MN Residency?

[skylarker.livejournal.com]

Good to know, thanks.

I thought I'd have to have been in the city/district for a certain length of time - in my case it'll be about a week and a half in New Brighton.

Re: MN Residency?

[lsanderson.livejournal.com]

You'll need a valid ID to register at the polls or a valid voucher to vouch for you.

Re: MN Residency?

[skylarker.livejournal.com]

Thanks. Guess I'll have to get to know my neighbors. :)

Re: MN Residency?

[lsanderson.livejournal.com]

They hafta be registered voters in your precinct or be able to register with a valid ID. Unless you know where the precinct lines are, avoid befriending the people across the street... ;-)

Re: MN Residency?

[skylarker.livejournal.com]

Looks like you're right. Silver Lane and Silver Lake Road are both boundaries not only to the precinct but to the city.

I'm gonna guess

[lsanderson.livejournal.com]

That no one will end up with 50% + 1 vote on the first ballot, so the second and third votes will probably come into play, unless you vote for the winner.

Re: I'm gonna guess

[dreamshark.livejournal.com]

No argument from me on that one. That's why I'm not planning to throw away any of my three votes on one of the entertaining wingnuts in the race. (Although if I had a few more votes to distribute, I would love to cast a vote for BobAgain Carney).

But there have been a lot of letters in the Strib from people complaining about being "forced" to cast 3 votes. They don't seem to understand that they can vote just the way they always did if that's what they want to do.

[davidschroth.livejournal.com]

Cam Winton [Independent Responsible Inclusive] - pretty much your only serious choice if you lean Republican.

Since he's already on record as anti-union (he wants to "save us money" by doing away with whatever union(s) the trash haulers belong to, I'd count him as a bona-fide "Let's Take Money from the 99% and give it to the 1%" Republican.

[dreamshark.livejournal.com]

Well, I wasn't really recommending that you vote for him, David. I'm not planning to. But who else would you vote for if your heart yearned towards Republicanism? Ole Savior?

[mle292.livejournal.com]

Oh, Ole. He is a mentally ill man who has been trying to get into politics for decades. He used to be in the DFL. I remember a State Convention to which he brought a several-phonebooks-sized-stack of printed paper, all of which was his proof that he's been attempting to get Governor Ventura to take his concerns seriously. What those concerns were, he never said, only that the Governor wouldn't listen.

Naomi Kritzer thinks

[billkahn.livejournal.com]

I should let you know here that my name is Bill Kahn, not "Bob" Kahn.

Re: Naomi Kritzer thinks

[dreamshark.livejournal.com]

Oops, sorry Bill.

Re: Naomi Kritzer thinks

[billkahn.livejournal.com]

No problem. Not like my candidacy didn't start under water. 'Bob', 'Bill', whatever. Some folks do see me as a water troll, and I'm fine with it.

In these days of 'nor', perhaps it is the submariners who will triumph in the city of lakes.

[seekerval.livejournal.com]

Well done. Reasonable breakdown of candidates, and still rather fun. Not that I find this broad field of candidates to be overly satisfying. As you say: "No system is perfect." Nor is any candidate. Some more "nor" than others.

[cakmpls.livejournal.com]

Thanks for the summary. Since you and I are the same person, I put my confidence in this.

[thorintatge.livejournal.com]

Amusing! This is the sort of thing I'd expect in a witty pop culture rag.