Bat Mitzvah ettiquette question - need answer today!

[dreamshark]

One of my coworkers has a daughter that is invited to a Bat Mitzvah this weekend. Coworker is Chinese and wasn't even sure what a Bat Mitzvah was. She wants to make sure that her daughter does the right thing - dresses appropriately, brings the right kind of gift, etc. She asked me because I'm half-Jewish, but I wasn't brought up Jewish and actually don't know a thing about it, beyond the hazy idea that bar/bat mitzvah is sort of like Catholic confirmation.

If anybody has any suggestions or tips, please answer right away so I can pass it on to my coworker by the end of the day. She is particularly worried that she might accidentally pick a gift that was somehow offensive. I suggested that she avoid pork-based gifts. :-)

Comments

[cakmpls.livejournal.com]

I've attended only one bat mitzvah, that of a friend of my daughter, and I think they vary according to the type of congregation (Reform, etc.). However, that girl's parents gave instructions about dress because she invited such a cross-cultural group. Basically, modest dress: no shorts, no very short skirts, no sleeveless, no bare midriff, and so on. I think if one would wear it to a wedding in a church, one can wear it to a bat mitzvah in a synagogue.

My understanding--and my experience at the one I went to--is that money is always an acceptable gift. I think that a gift card to a bookstore would be fine, or a meaningful book if one knows the girl well enough to know what that might be. Other gifts I saw were things like purses and scarves and such.

[dreamshark.livejournal.com]

Thanks. This was exactly what she was looking for.

[minnehaha.livejournal.com]

Dress for church and you'll be fine.

B

[minnehaha.livejournal.com]

Yes, and money is an acceptable gift. When I was a kid, savings bonds were the usual gift. A fountain pen is the traditional funny gift, but don't do it.

B